With recent news events, Naked Justin Bieber wants to reassure you that he’s fine and that any photos released by that vindictive Instagram hacker were not related in any way to him. In fact, NJB is here for you. He wants you to let him know your concerns, worries, fears, and also what makes you happy.
“Gosh! Golly! Gee!” he says, “Nobody should have to go through what my predecessor and his ex-girlfriend are going though. I feel totes like they’ve both been seriously violated and I’m not OK with it.”
Our first stop on our amazing vacation with Naked Justin Bieber was Miami, Florida. We met up with some friends, had some coffee, and took in the local sites. This particular claw machine was located at The Alchemist, a restaurant in Wilton Manors, Florida. NJB insisted that he could “catch em’ all” and I’m pretty sure all he “caught” was a sore wrist.
What do you do when a dementor tries to steal your coffee? You point your wand and shout “Espresso Patronum!” obviously! Naked Justin Bieber saw this sign at the local Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and it prompted his sudden and inevitable desire to enroll at Hogwarts. Having no knowledge of the location of the famous school of witchcraft and wizardry, NJB wandered around the mall until he saw what appeared to be many Hogwarts students through the window at Hot Topic. He leapt into the pack begging them to tell him how to enroll, but they were all very stuffy and ignored him completely. Poor NJB. He’ll have to find another way to get into Hogwarts.
Along with my co-workers, I was invited to a private screening of the new Rogue One movie. Of course Naked Justin Bieber had to tag along. So just know that if you haven’t been out to the theater yet to catch this ZOMGOSHTHISISSOAMAZING of a movie, NJB beat you to it. Is that really how to you want live?
When the front yard is so festive that it even has a dragon living there, you just know Naked Justin Bieber cannot resist the temptation of heading outside for some dragon cuddles. I mean, can you blame him? Found NJB perched atop our new dragon friend, Elliott (of course) going on and on about how the kids won’t share their advent calendar chocolates. Elliott just laughed and laughed and didn’t share his candy cane.
I get that Naked Justin Bieber is totes excited about Christmas, but today I found him hiding out IN THE MAILBOX outside opening my first Christmas card received this year. Seriously, NJB, have some patience. Nothing like opening your mailbox and finding this inside, let me tell ya!
What’s more exhilarating than taking a dip in a beautiful fountain? Well, doing it at Christmastime while naked in public, obviously. Just ask Naked Justin Bieber. Here he’s seen enjoying a relaxing evening under one of the lovely Christmas Trees at Dana Park . The fountain, the trees, the crisp (Arizona) winter air…. the combination lends itself to the beautiful backdrop for a quick breather beneath the stars. Savor the moment with NJB, won’t you?
How could Naked Justin Bieber resist posing with the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile?
Answer: He couldn’t!